Ideas / Transparency
An idea from Sui Learning
Transparency
Influence openly or not at all. Always say why.
In plain words
Never "because I said so." Give the reason even when you skip the full context. Children who know why things happen learn to make things happen. Nothing covert: change the environment in the open and say why. A screen fast is a tool. A secret confiscation is a betrayal.
The research behind it
- Control undermines motivation; autonomy, competence, and relatedness drive it. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, Self-Determination Theory (1985); Daniel Pink, Drive (2009), as cited in Sui Learning.
- People take on a task as their own more readily when they are given a meaningful reason, have their feelings acknowledged, and are offered a choice. Edward Deci and others, "Facilitating Internalization," Journal of Personality 62, no. 1 (1994).
Questions this answers
- Should I explain my rules to my child?
- How do I build trust with my child?
- Is it okay to say "because I said so"?
In the book
In Sui Learning: First Principles; Building Trust with Your Child.
Read the full answers
How much freedom should I give my child?How do I motivate my child to learn without rewards?How do I reduce my child's screen time without a fight?
Related ideas
Cite this idea. Trenton Rich, "Transparency," in Homeschooling to Create High Achievers in All Areas of Life: Sui Learning (2022), suilearn.ing/idea-transparency.html. Free to quote, copy and reuse with credit under CC BY 4.0. The book itself is under normal copyright.